The indignities of it all! MST review by VGAP I know that a lot of you must be tired of usual disclaimers, but nevertheless I somehow feel obliged to say it...... *DEEP BREATH* This story was not meant for a profit. All the characters belong to respective owners.This was written without anybody's permission, but the author claims no responsibility nor copyright. This can be distributed freely, but it is not to be used outside of nonprofittable entertainment. There, you can all unplug your ears now..... Comments would be appreciated. Criticism will be praised. Ignorance awaits flames. Letter bombs will be returned. If you send me cash, checks, or your credit card number, I will worship you! I can be reached at <vg_ap@hotmail.com>. Or simply visit my homepage at <http://www.fortunecity.com/marina/thunder/181/index.html>. Ah, MST review... Always wanted to do one of these neat things. If I DON'T get a good response, I will STILL write it! Hehehe... Since this features characters from several series, some of them are undeniably out of character and may even have a relationship between them. All I can say is visit my Church of Crossover Couples at <http://www.fortunecity.com/marina/thunder/181/ccc.html>. Yes, this is a stupid way of advertising it, but hey, I want more people to vote. Enough rambling, let's start the story! MST of "Boy Meets Girls" by Julian Soullard Part 3 of 8 "Um, Hikaru..." She showed no visible reaction, intensifying Ranma's anxiety. Trying to get her attention, he repeated the words. Nothing again. This went on for several times; Ranma trying to get her attention, and Hikaru denying it. Frustrated and feeling more guilty than ever, Ranma blurted out: "Look, Hikaru, I'm sorry!" The outburst convinced Hikaru to turn around. Ranma's relief was short-lived as he saw the quiet pain and anger in her eyes. "For what?" "Uh?" "You are sorry for what?" This was not the sort of reply he had been fearing for. Now that he thought about it, he didn't know what he was apologizing for. "Um, uh, well..." Hikaru sighed tiredly. "You don't know why I'm angry?" "Is it because I said Usagi was adorable?" Ranma guessed. Hikaru shook her head. "That's not it, not exactly." "Because I made up with her?" Ranma was starting to sweat. She shook her head again. "As much as I don't like her, I don't have any rights to forbid you from being friends with her." Ranma blinked. "It's the way you are ignoring me in favor of her." "When did I ignore you?" Ranma immedeately regretted his question as he saw Hikaru's eyes harden. "I'm not blind, Ranma." She said. "I know that you like her more than me, and since you knew her longer than you knew me, I can't fault you for that." Hikaru grabbed Ranma's arms. "But why are you rejecting me? I dumped Lantis for you, you know. That so-called princess didn't do the same! She has no right on you!" Ranma gulped. Once again he was caught by his worst nightmare; no-win situation romance. Unfortunately, everything Hikaru said was true. He met Usagi far earlier than he met Hikaru, and did like her more. He liked her enough to admit of being her boyfriend, though not "one true destined love" she wanted him to be. But the way she still held onto Mamoru didn't make him feel good. Hikaru then showed her interest on him, complicating the issue. Unlike Usagi, she was prepared to be loyal to him by getting rid of her long-time boyfriend. And he did like her; just not as much as he liked Usagi. The fact that she disliked Usagi prior to meeting him didn't help. The result was that he felt like Kuno, unable to choose between his two romance prospects. If he tried to remain neutral, they would pester him relentlessly. If he favored one, he would hurt the other... like he did minutes ago. His reverie was broken down by a sound of small sobbing. No, not this again, he thought. Not now! "Hikaru, please stop crying, I said I'm sorry, okay?! Please stop!" His female look-alike faced up to him, staring at him with watery eyes. "Why, Ranma?" Ranma opened his mouth, but could think of no answer that would settle everything. He decided to try apologizing again. "I... I'm sorry, Hikaru-chan. I'm stupid, I don't know what to do." Seeing her calm down a little, he went in for kill... even though it was him about to get hurt. He gently dislodged her and folded his knees on the floor, hanging his head. "Hit me until you feel better." He waited for the expected beating, but it never came. "Ranma, please get up." He looked up to see Hikaru with a peculiar expression. She managed to look exasperated and understanding at the same time. "Do you think I will feel better if I hit you?" Ranma almost suggested that it worked with Akane, but thought better of it at the last moment. "I guess not... But what do you want me to do?" Hikaru's gaze softened, the pain disappearing from her eyes. "What I have asked you over and over again; give me a chance." Before Ranma could say anything, she added: "I'm not asking for any commitment. Just spend some time with me, only me and you. You don't have to call it a date if you don't want to." The last part was almost a whisper. Ranma's thoughts whirled around in his mind like victims caught in Hiryu Shouten Ha. Risks, predictions and other miscellaneous mental activities raged a war to decide on the course of response. Rejection was defeated by guilt reinforcing acceptance. "All right, Hikaru. I guess it's the least I could do for you." Hikaru wiped her tears away and smiled radiantly at him, making him blush slightly. "Thanks, Ranma." As if on cue, the absent reviewers returned with ridiculous amount of food. The screen showed that the break was almost over. Usagi frowned as she catched her rival smiling at HER Ranma. "What were you two up to?" Ranma swallowed nervously. "Um, nothing, really." He sighed internally at the thought of trouble Usagi would cause him in future. The champion of love and justice looked skeptical, but couldn't press the issue as the fanfic resumed. >Dragon ball Z/Sailor Moon fanfic. > Cloud: Since the title sequence and disclaimers are exactly the same as the ones in other chapters, we'll skip directly to the fanfic from now on. > Chapter 3: A new hero enters the spotlight. Ranma: Three guesses to who that is, and the first two don't count. Goku: Sailor Uranus? Neptune? Pluto? Everyone else: .............. > > > >"Excuse me miss..." he said. > >"Yes? What can I do for you young man?" asked the lady responding to >the teenager with purple hair that stood next to her. Cloud: "," recommended after lady. > >"I was wondering if you could tell me where you kept your geography and >history books." Trunks responded. > >"Certainly." she said "The geography section is on the second floor and Cloud: ............. >our history books are at the end of that corridor." pointing to her >left. Usagi: "Pointing to her left" part should have been omitted or corrected. > >After thanking the lady, Trunks went towards the history section of the >library. He spent most of the day repairing the time machine, but >without the adapter that would arrive in about a month there was >nothing else he could do but wait. Therefore, he decided to go to a >library and learn more about the world he would be staying in for the >next month. Trunks, unlike his mother, was no rocket scientist, and >studding was certainly not one of his hobbies, from where he came, you Cloud: "Studying" misspelled. "Stud" is a noun. Also replace "," after "hobbies" with ";". >had to learn more about self defense than mathematics. Maybe Gohan was >the exception, but Trunks didn't share the same kind of interests. >He then took a pile of books, headed towards a nearby table and took a >seat. Ranma: That's strange... There was no indication of Trunks hating studying in the original Dragon Ball Z. In fact, he seems reasonably intelligent. And furthermore, what good is self-defense against No. 17 and 18? > >"Okay... here we go." he said grabbing the first book with a bored >expression. Cloud: "," comma recommended after "said". > >It's not as if he had a choice. Yesterday, Ami, Usagi and Makoto were >asking him a lot of questions. If it wasn't for that monster that >appeared interrupting their little chat, they might of guessed that he Cloud: "Of" should be replaced with "have". >didn't came from this world. In other words, Trunks had to be ready to >answer a lot of questions, like "Where do you come from?" "How did you Cloud: Shouldn't there be commas between each questions? >get here?" "Where do your parents live?" etc.... > Hikaru: So Trunks is trying to cover his tracks? But why won't he just live in a desolate area until the adapter arrives? That way he won't have to do anything. Of course, there wouldn't be a fanfic either... > > >Meanwhile, at Hikawa temple: > >"Well, girls. We certainly have a new enemy." Luna spoke. Ranma: GAAAHHHH!!! (This time, Hikaru manages to act faster than Usagi and cover his eyes with her hands. Usagi glares daggers at her, which she returns with a grin.) > >"You're not kidding." Minako added "That werewolf was really tough." Cloud: ............ Usagi: Werewolf? That's not the usual sort of monsters in this time period... But than, we didn't have a time-traveling alien back then either. Goku: Maybe Trunks screwing time machine up has something to do with it? (Everyone except cowering Ranma stares at usually-unperceptive warrior.) Goku: What? > >"Any idea where did it came from, Luna?" asked Ami. Usagi: (snorts) If Ami-chan doesn't know, how would Luna know? That stupid cat always finds out things too late. Hikaru: That's why she's your adviser. You two match wonderfully. Usagi: WHY YOU!! (Usagi whips out her Moon Scepter, but her arm motion is intercepted by Goku's hand on her wrist.) Goku: No fighting, remember? Cloud: And keep the noise pollution down. Usagi: Grrr....! > >"Not a clue." she answered "And that worries me, It didn't look like >the other enemies we've faced before..." Cloud: .............. > >"What are you talking about?" asked Usagi "What made him so different?" Cloud: .............. > >"Think, stupid!" Rei told her "It wasn't after peoples energy like the >other foes we've faced." Cloud: .............. Hikaru: See? Even your teammates acknowledge your similarity with Luna. Usagi: Well at least my teammates didn't mistake me for an elementary school kid, shorty! (Hikaru's face turns red, but she manages to keep her temper in check.) Goku: (shaking his head and thinking) Even Chichi isn't so loud or obne... obk... annoying. > >"Well Excuuuuuuuuse me for not noticing!!" she said "And who are you >calling Stupid?" as she stuck out her tongue. Cloud: Punctuation needed, and capitalization errors. > >"Well who do you think???" was Rei's answer as she stuck out her tongue >also. > >"Girls! Could you save that for later?" Artemis demanded "We have to >find a way to deal with this problem." Cloud: ............. Usagi: Well duh, no duh! Cloud: (annoyed) Didn't I tell you to stop doing that? Usagi: (sticks out her tongue) That's why I'm doing it. > >"Tell me, Rei?" Luna asked her "That feeling you had two days ago about >some weird energy, have you felt that again lately?" Cloud: Punctuation errors. > >"Well now that you mention it..." she said "I did have that exact same >feeling while we were fighting that werewolf yesterday." Cloud: Punctuation error. I guess Rei is still feeling- (Usagi aims her scepter at Cloud, Hikaru takes out her sword, and Ranma, his eyes still shielded from the screen, points out his shining palm at the Soldier.) Cloud: (hastily) Trunks's energy. (The teenagers relax. Goku looks confused.) > >"Tell us more about it." Artemis insisted "Did it came from the >monster?" Cloud: ........... > >"Well....no." she responded "But it did came from near the area where >we were fighting. Besides, I only felt it for a second." Cloud: ........... > >"You're sure it didn't came from that monster?" Ami asked. > >"Absolutely." > >"Well, maybe that energy has something to do with the monster appearing >out of nowhere." Minako suggested. Hikaru: I thought that blonde floozy was as airheaded as her leader. Usagi: HEY! Hikaru: (ignoring Usagi) Why is she being so perceptive? > >"But what are we supposed to do?" Usagi asked "How about you Mako-chan? >What do you th..." Ranma: (his eyes still covered) Hey, I haven't heard Makoto's voice yet since cats *shiver* appeared. Usagi: Oh yeah... Why wasn't she talking? > >It was then that everybody noticed that Makoto wasn't paying attention >since the beginning of the reunion, she was stareing at the roof all >the time while making big dreamy eyes. Cloud: Reuni... on...? Goku: Uh oh. Cloud: (with glazed eyes) Sephiroth... Black Materia... Hikaru: Great, now I'm stuck with two jobs. Anyway, "staring" misspelled. Also replace "," with ";". > >"Wasn't he great?" she said "The way he saved that poor boy from >death... <sigh>..." Hikaru: Punctuation needed. Cloud: Thousand specks... of mirrors... > >Everybody was looking confused at Makoto especially Minako and Rei who >didn't knew who Trunks was. Hikaru: Add a comma after "Makoto". Ranma: Is it safe to look yet? Goku: No, the cats are still there. (Ranma groans.) > >"Hey, Usagi." Minako asked "Who's she talking about?" Hikaru: Punctuation needed. Cloud: Xenogears... > >"Some guy named Trunks she met yesterday." Usagi told her. > >"You mean she hardly knows him?" Rei brought up "Hey Mako-chan, are you >sure he's *the one*? You hardly know him?" Hikaru: Punctuation needed. Usagi: That's what she thinks every time she's attracted to someone. > >"That doesn't matter!!!" Usagi stated (striking a pose pointing with >her index finger towards the heavens. We see the background turn like >the fourth of July) "Each woman must follow her quest for love in >search of the ideal guy, I trust that Mako-chan's choice in men SHALL >bring her happiness!!!!!" Usagi: Hear, hear! (Ranma sweatdrops, Hikaru rolls her eyes, and Goku tries to understand what she said.) Goku: What did you mean by that, Usagi? Usagi: *sigh* I meant that all girls should look for their destined boy to become happy. Goku: Why? Cloud: Urg... What's my... number...? Usagi: Because love conquers all! Hikaru: Lots of mistakes in that last paragraph. > >Everyone now stares at Usagi (The 4th of July background fades away). > >"Well he is cute..." she explained. > >"Usagi is right." Ami added "And besides, he also has a great butt." (Everyone, even Goku, except Cloud gapes at the screen.) Ranma: I think my ears need a checkup. I thought that was Ami. Usagi: Ranma, that WAS Ami... Ranma: WHAT!? (He moves away Hikaru's hands just long enough to see Ami on the screen before covering them again.) Goku: I thought she would never make that sort of comment. > >Now everybody stares at Ami, obviously they didn't expect HER to make >that kind of remark. Usagi: You're telling us?! Hikaru: ";" instead of ",". > >"WELL WHAT??" she said unable to keep herself from blushing "I'm >allowed to make that kind of observation once in a life time, aren't >I??" Hikaru: Punctuation needed. And yes, she can make that kind of comment, except that it would be completely out of character. She NEVER makes that kind of comment in the original. > > >As time went on, the five girls left the temple heading to the Tsukino >house. Usagi invited all four of them to have supper at her place. Ranma: (removing his hands from his face) Finally, the cats are gone! Cloud: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!! (Everybody covers their ears and winces.) Usagi: And he complains about my voice? Goku: I hope he snaps out of it soon. Ranma: Why don't we just knock him out? Goku: To do that, I would have to turn into Super-Saiyajin and shoot Kamehameha. Then the whole theater would collapse. Anything less won't work. > >"So, Mako-chan?" Rei brought up "Tell us about this guy Trunks." Hikaru: Punctuation needed. > >"Yeah! Tell us what makes him so special." Minako added. > >"Well I really don't know much about him." Makoto answered "Besides the >fact that he's really cute and that he's a foreigner." Hikaru: Punctuation needed again. > >"If he's so cute maybe he already has a girlfriend." Rei suggested. >Makoto's happy expression was immediately replaced by a serious one. Cloud: *hark**cough* Ooh... What happened? Ranma: Your usual thing. Usagi: You know, you really need to see a shrink. Cloud: No way. > >"Nice going, Rei!" Usagi told her "You really know how to break a smile >in a girl's face." Cloud: ............ > >"Hey! It's something she should consider!" Rei stated in her defence >"He might have a girlfriend!" Cloud: ............ Usagi: If only SOMEONE considered that before trying to take away MY boyfriend... Hikaru: (coldly) If only SOMEONE would stop trying to two-time... Ranma: (moans) Please stop it, you two... Cloud: (munches on popcorn) Those three stooges are such a great entertainment. (sips a coke) Goku: You really shouldn't think of their conflict as a funny thing, you know. Cloud: Learn to relax, Mr. Champion. Goku: Still... Cloud: Oh come on, you've got to admit that they put on a great show. Goku: I guess. (pauses) Corndog? Cloud: Thanks. > >"I really hope he doesn't..." Makoto said slightly depressed. Cloud: "," after "said". Usagi: Don't worry Mako-chan, he doesn't! > >"Oh dear." exclaimed Ami. > >"What? What is it?" Usagi asked her. > >"I forgot to return this book to the library." she answered "Is it okay >if we pass to library before they close Usagi?" Cloud: ............. Usagi: Figures. I would bet Ginzuishou that it's the one Trunks is using right now. > >"Sure. Where is it?" Usagi asked. > >"It's a few blocks from your house." Ami told her as she sweat dropped. Cloud: While "sweatdrop" is not a proper word, it needs to be one word if it is used as a verb. > >"Of course that's something you wouldn't know." Rei added "The day we >see *you* in a library will be the end of the world as well." Cloud: ............... Hikaru: How true. Usagi: HEY! I haven't seen YOU in a library either! Hikaru: That's because you are never at one. > >Everybody began to laugh, except Usagi who was glaring at Rei. Usagi: This sentence is somewhat sluggish. Rephrase it. > >At the library (which by coincidence was the same Trunks was at the >moment): Cloud: Add commas after "which" and "coincidence". "One" needed after "same". Ranma: What's the odds of Trunks NOT meeting them? Hikaru: The odds of Rafarga deciding to become a cross-dresser. Goku: Satan turning into a Super-Saiyajin. Usagi: I would say that of Haruka marrying a man. Cloud: How about Cid using a proper language? > >"Why hello, Ami." the library lady said "What brings you here today?" Cloud: ............... Ranma: Well, I guess she would be familiar to the library lady. > >"Good evening." she said politely "I came to return this book." handing >over the book. Cloud: ............... Usagi: "Handing over the book." part is unnecessary. > >"Finished already?" the lady said surprised "Any other books that you >might be interested in? We just got that new book you wanted." Cloud: ............... > >"Great! Where is it?" > >"Over there." she pointed "By the literature section." Cloud: ............. Usagi: (Makoto voice) Trunks, what are you doing here and what's with that shoujo manga!? Ranma: (Trunks voice) Shoujo manga? This is a classic romance novel! See, Sayaka is mourning over being dumped by Sankichi in this scene... > >The five girls went to the aisle next to were Trunks was. Cloud: "Where" is misspelled. >Both groups not noticing the other. Trunks was almost asleep after so >many books he read, eventhough he only understood half of them. Cloud: Sentence fragment, Trunks is a single person and not a group, and "even" and "though" needs to be separated. (Takes a sip of coke.) Ranma: And then there's that characterization mistake; Trunks is not the type to be put to sleep by a book. > >"Let's see......Hum.........here it is." Ami said as she pulled out the Cloud: "Hm", not "hum". >book from the shelf. As she did, an opening was made between the two >aisle and Amy could see Trunks on the other side. Usagi: HEY! When did this turn into NA version!? Cloud: I think it's just a misspelling. > >"Oh my, isn't that Trunks over there?" she added. Ranma: "Oh my"? I'm not sure if Ami's the type to say something like that... > >"Where?" Makoto asked showing spontaneous interest, then moving Ami one >side to be able to see Trunks "It is him!" Cloud: ............... Hikaru: (shakes her head) Honestly... Don't they ever grow up? Usagi: Who are you to talk, boyfriend thief? (Hikaru just smirks triumphantly. Usagi gets a puzzled expression. Ranma starts sweating, hoping that Hikaru won't mention the promised date.) > >"Well, let us see!" Minako demanded as she took Makoto's place "We want >to know what he looks like.............Wow, he really is good looking." Cloud: ............... Hikaru: Okay, okay, we've heard that too many times already. We all know he's good looking, so let's just leave it at that. > >"Let me see! Let me see! Let me see!" Rei insisted. Goku: (to Ranma) Isn't she out of character? Ranma: Nope. This is an anime version of Rei, so she's almost as boy-hungry as Minako. It's a completely different story in manga, though. > >"Usagi..." Makoto said as she turned towards Usagi "Can I ask you a >favor?" Cloud: ............... > >"Un... Sure." she said a little confused. > >"Would it be too much trouble if you could invite Trunks to have supper >with us at your house?" Makoto asked hopefully "I would really >appreciate that." Cloud: ............... Ranma: (frowns) Would Tsukinos invite a complete stranger to a dinner? Usagi: I guess it's necesseary for the plot, but it DOES seem somewhat forced. > >"Sure. But what's going to be my excuse for bumping into him?" > >"Hi, girls." said a voice behind them, it was Trunks who was returning >the books he borrowed. Cloud: ";" instead of ",". Usagi: Hey, wasn't he sleeping on the table? > >"WHHAAAAAA..." screamed the girls in surprise. > >'SHHHHHHHHHHHHH' said the other people in the library. Cloud: ................... > >"Oh. Trunks. It's you." said Usagi holding her chest still in a little >bit of shock "We didn't hear you." Cloud: ................... > >"What a coincidence to find you here." Makoto exclaimed "What are you >doing here anyway?" Cloud: ................... Ranma: (snorts) Yeah, a real coincidence. The author didn't want them to meet at all. Not in the least. Hikaru: This plot does seem awfully convinient... > >"Just came here to read some books." Trunks answered showing the books >he was reading "What about you?" Cloud: ................... > >"We came accompanying Ami in search of a book." Minako told him "By the >way, I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Minako Aino" Cloud: ............. Usagi: I wonder who Trunks will be most interested in? Makochan or Minako-chan? > >"And I'm Rei Hino." Rei added "Nice to meet you." Cloud: ............. > >"Nice to meet you both, I'm Trunks" he said. Cloud: ............. > >"Trunks, we were wondering..." Usagi brought out "Would you like to >join us for supper at my house. Everybody is coming." Cloud: Punctuation errors. Hikaru: Don't accept it, Trunks! You'll regret it! Usagi: What are you saying? It will be better than meeting some witch wannabes! Hikaru: We can use REAL magic, not the fake ones you use! YOU are the witch wannabes! Ranma: (panicky tone) Usagi! Hikaru! Please, for God's sake, calm down! (The two girls glare at each other once more before settling down.) Ranma: (thinking miserably) Why me? > >"Well... I don't know..." he responded, after all they seemed >determined to find out more about him "I wouldn't want to impose on >your family." Cloud: ............ > >"Don't worry" Usagi replied "You're our guest of honor, we still >haven't thanked you formally for saving Mako-chan yesterday." Cloud: ............ Hikaru: Figures. Only you could come up with such a lame excuse. Usagi: What would YOU have asked then!? Hikaru: I would wait for a better opportunity. It's too early to hope for a romantic involvement. > >"Thank me... formally?" he asked [What is she talking about. You girls >have already thanked me about three time each. How much formal can you >get?] Cloud: Punctuation errors. > >"You saved Mako-chan?" Minako and Rei asked simultaneously "If that's >the case we insist you tell us more about that during supper." Cloud: ........... > >"Besides," Usagi added "we never got to finish our chat yesterday >because of that monster, we still have a lot of things to ask you." > >"Hun... right ... our chat yesterday..." Trunks said now even less >convinced. Cloud: "Huh" misspelled again. > >"Come on." Ami insisted "You'll love the way Usagi's mother cooks." > Cloud: ................ Ranma: Just don't piss her off, she's like Mr. Tendo in that regard. >Well... it *was* late and Trunks had nothing to eat so far, not to >mention that refusing a free meal from these girls would be rude. Usagi: Maybe this should have been phrased like Trunks's thoughts. It just doesn't flow very well as a narration. > >"Okay. I'll join you." he said [What's the worst thing that could >happen?] Cloud: .............. Ranma: Well, you could get engaged to all of them. Goku: Isn't that a little ridiculous? Ranma: Nope. It happenned to me a few times. > >A few moments later Trunks and the girls are walking down the street to >Usagi's house. Makoto is walking next to Trunks, he on the other hand >is thinking of the answers he would have to come up with if he was >interviewed. Cloud: Again, a violation of prose format. Also replace "," with ";". > >"Welcome home, Usagi." Said her mother "I see you brought visitors. Who >might this young man be?" looking at Trunks with a friendly smile. Cloud: ................. Usagi: That last segment could have been left out. > >"My name is Trunks" he said "Pleased to meet you." Cloud: Jeez, does this author have something against punctuations? > >"Well it's always nice to see our daughter making new friends." Usagi's >father said, suddenly appearing next to his wife "Please come in." Cloud: .............. Ranma: (frowns) And they would invite him in just like that? Hikaru: This chapter's plot is undeniably stretched... > >"Trunks." Usagi brought out "This is my mother and father, and that >over there (pointing at a boy playing Nintendo) is my obnoxious little >brother Shingo!" Cloud: ............ > >"I heard that!" Shingo said out loud. Usagi: So what? > >"Why don't we all sit down for supper." Usagi's mother suggested "The >food's ready!" Cloud: Punctuation mistakes again. > >Everyone sat down at the table, Makoto and Minako were next to Trunks, >in front of him were Usagi's parents, at the right and left side of the >table were Ami, Shingo, Usagi and Rei. Cloud: It would have been better if "," was instead a ";". > >"So, Trunks?" asked Usagi's father as he started the conversation >"Where are you from?" everybody looked at Trunks as he became the >center of attraction. Cloud: ................. Usagi: Start a new sentence with "everybody". > >"I'm come from America." he said as he remembered that name from one of >the books he read earlier. Cloud: Omit "come". Hikaru: Oh, well then how are you speaking Japanese so fluently? Not to mention that you probably can't speak English. > >"Really?" asked Mrs. Tsukino "You speak Japanese very well for being an >American." Cloud: ............. > >"Yeah... un... well... er... my mother is Japanese." he lied. Ranma: He's really not good at making excuses, is he? Cloud: I could say the same about you. Ranma: At least it's better than not bothering to make an excuse, like you! Cloud: (coolly) I have no need to make any sort of excuses. Ranma: Yeah, right. > >"Oh that explains it." Usagi: I can't believe that everyone is buying all those excuses... > >"Well anyway." Mr. Tsukino continued "Tell us what brings you all the >way here." Cloud: ............... Goku: (Kenji voice) After all, we don't get many time-travelers as guests. > >"That's right." Ami added "You told us you got here by accident." Cloud: ............... > >"Well..." Trunks responded as he tried to explain "I think you could >say I made a wrong turn." Cloud: ............... > >No one was quite sure of what he meant by that, but Usagi's father >nodded instead. Ranma: Jeez, he's more oblivious than Kasumi in this fic. > >"I see, those occidental air lines are a real mess. I remember when I >last used one." he claimed "Anyway, it must be very hard for you to be >on your own in a place like Tokyo." Cloud: .............. Hikaru: Did he ever ride on a plane? Usagi: He never talks about it, but then, since he's a salaried man, I guess he did a few times. > >"There's no need to worry, sir." Trunks replied "I can take care of >myself." Cloud: ............... Ranma: (Trunks voice) Of course, you don't want to see what my room is like. And whatever you do, don't even think about using my bathroom. > >"Maybe so." Mr. Tsukino said "But does your family knows where you >are?" Cloud: ............... > >"Yes, they're aware." Ranma: Right, he's lost in a different series. > >"And what about your girlfriend?" Makoto asked nervously awaiting for >an answer "She must be worried." Cloud: ............... > >"I... don't have a girlfriend." Trunks responded a little confused by >that type of question. Cloud: "," recommended after "responded". > >"NO WAY!!!" said the five girls at the same time "NO GIRLFRIEND????" >Makoto suddenly regained that happy look on her face. Cloud: ............... Ranma: Good news for her, I guess. Cloud: And a bad news for you. Ranma: Wha-what do you mean by that? Cloud: It means that someone new is after one of your love slaves. Ranma: SHUT UP!! It isn't like that! Cloud: (smirks) Riiiiight. > >"Well... yeah... What's so strange about that?" he asked still >confused. Hikaru: It may be a fact that most good-looking teenage male in anime has at least one girl after him. > >"It's very unusual that such a handsome boy as yourself doesn't have a >girlfriend." Mrs. Tsukino explained. > >"Handsome??? Who? Me?" Trunks asked even more confused and no less >embarassed. No woman ever told him he was good looking, (Well maybe his >mother that didn't really count) he was surprised by that kind of >remark. Where he came from it didn't matter if you were pretty or not, >hat counted was how well you fought. Cloud: "What" misspelled. Ranma: C'mon! Like, nobody could even hold their own against those androids! I really don't think fighting abilities would matter in his world. Survival skills are probably much more important. > >"Anyway." interrupted Mr. Tsukino trying to change the subject as he >saw how Trunks was getting a little embarrassed "How long will you be >staying in Japan?" Cloud: ............... Ranma: Gee, I wish my pop was more like that. > >"Well I'm not sure." he said "I think I'll be here for a month or so." Cloud: ............... > >"Why such a long time?" Mrs. Tsukino asked "If you're in the wrong >place, shouldn't you try to get home as soon as possible?" Cloud: ............... > >"I tried." he answered "But I'm having problems with my... er... >passport! It'll be about a month before everything is fixed." Cloud: .................. Usagi: I guess that excuse wasn't so bad... > >"I see." Mr. Tsukino went on "And what about school?" Cloud: ............ > >"What about it?" Cloud: Big mistake, Trunks. When an anime parent mentions school, he/she intends to put you into a school if it's the last thing he/she can do. > >"Aren't going to school while you're staying here?" he asked him. Cloud: "You" missing. > >"Well... not really." Trunks answered. > >"How can that be?" Mrs. Tsukino asked quite surprised. Cloud: "," recommended after "asked". > >"Well... er..." Trunks said as he was trying to find an excuse "As I >told you earlier... hum... I had a few problems with my documents and >therefore I can't enter school. [I hope they'll buy that]" Cloud: .............. Ranma: I think it's high time his luck ran out. Usagi: Yeah. The way everyone keeps buying his story, it's too convinient. > >"Oh, so that's why you were at the library?" Ami brought out "Since you >can't enter school you're studding there instead." Cloud: Punctuation and spelling errors. > >"Er......Yes! That's right!" Trunks lied. Hikaru: Well, he WAS doing a research on this world... > >"Well if an adult's permission is the only thing you need to get into >school..." Mr. Tsukino started "Then we can help you, Trunks." Cloud: .............. Ranma: Uh-huh, and what about the fact that he has no ID whatsoever? That his house appeared on a place where nothing was present previously? Not to mention that Japanese schools are rather reluctant to let in foreigners... But I guess that's enough nit-picking. > >"You can? [Uh oh, I don't like the sound of this.]" Trunks asked not >very happy about the idea. Cloud: "," recommended after "asked". > >"Why certainly!" Mr. Tsukino assured "I'll personally inscribe you to >Usagi's school tomorrow morning." Cloud: ................. Ranma: Let's see him get out of THIS one. > >"That's a great idea, dad!" Usagi declared. > >"I really wouldn't want to trouble you." Trunks said trying to find a >way out of this mess. > >"It's no trouble at all!" Mrs. Tsukino confirmed "We certainly can't >let you fall behind in your studies. Besides, I'm sure your parents >would want you to keep studying while you're here." Cloud: .................... > >"Uh... Yeah... I guess... [Aww man, what have I got myself into???]" he >said knowing he was now doomed. Cloud: (grins) Finally, he's stumped! Ranma: (grins in a similar fashion) Hate to agree with you, but it IS nice knowing that this Trunks isn't perfect after all. Usagi: And this way, Makochan has a lot more chance with Trunks! Hikaru: I guess all these questionable plots were to get him into a school. > >"You'll be able to start school tomorrow morning." Mr. Tsukino stated. Ranma: That soon? Oh well, I have nit-picked enough for now. > >"And we can help you catch up in your school work as well?" Ami added. > >"Thanks, you're all really too kind. [Great, now I'm stuck with >school!]" > >"Well, anyway." Minako said trying to change the subject "Enough about >school. Tell me Trunks, do you by any chance have any older brothers?" Cloud: Lots of punctuation errors. Goku: Why is she asking that? Ranma: Maybe she's seeking other targets in case Makoto lands Trunks? She does, after all, prefer older men. Hikaru: I certainly wouldn't place her above such action. Usagi: Exactly what is wrong with that?! Hikaru: It's clear that you won't understand, so I won't even attempt to explain it. Usagi: Why you...! (sticks her tongue out at Hikaru, who ignores this gesture) > >"No, not really, I'm an only son." Cloud: (Trunks voice) I do, however, have an younger sister named Bra in an alternate universe. > >"Hun, too bad." she said a little disappointed. Cloud: "Huh" misspelled again. > >"By the way Trunks..." Makoto asked "Have you found a place to stay?" Cloud: ................... Hikaru: (Makoto voice) If you don't, I have got a nice and *cozy* house for you! Usagi: Makochan isn't THAT agressive! Hikaru: Oh? Would she refuse if Trunks asked for a room? Usagi: Uh... Ranma: Tough question there. Cloud: It will depend on how good of a lay Trunks is. Hikaru: (bonks Cloud with her sword) Stop making perverted comments! Cloud: (casting a Cure on himself) You're the one who brought up the subject, you know. > >"Because if you haven't..." Mrs. Tsukino added "There's always a place >here." Cloud: .................. Ranma: ARRGH!! This is going WAY too far! The Tsukino family would NEVER offer a place to a complete stranger! (makes sounds of disgust) Usagi: (eyes twitching) What does this author think we are? A boarding house? > >"I've already found a place. I wouldn't want to trouble you. You've >already done more than enough for me. [More than enough trouble that >is!!]" Trunks explained. The last thing he needed now was to stay with >them. Ranma: Yeah, next thing you know, you'll be Usagi's fiancee... (trails off nervously as he notices Usagi staring at him with hearts in her eyes) Usagi: Ranma, how about an "omiai" with my parents this weekend? [Author's note: an "omiai" is, to put it simply, an engagement ceremony.] Ranma: (gulps) Uh... N-no, I think it's too early for that. (Usagi pouts while Hikaru looks thoughtful.) > >"Anyway..." Usagi said "Mako-chan told us you were a great martial >artist. What technique do you use?" Cloud: Punctuation mistake, and make "technique" plural. Goku: Well, there's Burning Attack... Since this is before he trains in a Room of Spirits and Time, I suppose he hasn't learned Finish Buster yet. Then there's Bukujutsu and Super-Saiyajin transformation. > >"I don't really use any technique in particular, I learn a little from >everything I see and try to create my own style." he responded a little >less nervous now that they were asking him of things he knew of. Cloud: Add a "," after "responded". Usagi: (frowns) You know, it would have been better if my question was asking about his style instead of his techniques. > > >The rest of the evening went more smoothly, the other questions Usagi, >Rei, Ami, Minako and especially Makoto asked Trunks were easier to >answer, most of them where about what he liked and disliked and stuff >like that. Soon it was 6:00 PM and everybody was about to leave. Cloud: Replace the first comma with semicolon. > >"Thanks again for inviting me." Trunks said as he and the other girls >were about to leave. Ranma: Well, this is more like Trunks... He manages to hide his annoyance for what they have done quite well. > >"Don't mention it, it's the least we could do." Usagi stated "I'll see >you tomorrow at school, Okay?" Cloud: ................ > >"Hun... right... school..." he responded still not very happy about >that concept. Cloud: "Huh" misspelled again. > >Everyone left Usagi's house in a different direction, Trunks was now >thinking about his new problem. Usagi: Start a new sentence after "Trunks". > >"Trunks! Wait up!" said a voice behind him, it was Makoto "Where are >you heading?" Usagi: The flow would have been smoother if "it was Makoto" part was an independent sentence. > >"Home." he answered. > >"Oh! You live at the north side? What a coincidence, so do I. Mind if I >join you?" she asked (Most of you Sailor Moon fans might noticed that >this is a typical maneuver that the Senshi use to get men, especially >when in this case, Makoto lives in the exact *opposite* direction >Trunks does.) Cloud: Heap of errors, I won't even mention them. Usagi: Well it's effective! Hikaru: It's also time-consuming, degrading, and capable of backfiring. Usagi: Nobody asked you! > >"Sure, no problem." he told her. > >They were walking down the street, Trunks was still thinking about his >current situation, and as for Makoto, she was waiting for an >opportunity to make her move. She slowly began to let Trunks ahead of >her. Then she pretended to trip over some inexistent object, launching >herself towards the sayan hybrid and grabbing his arm so she wouldn't >fall. The end result was obvious, she managed to grab Trunks by the arm >(Yet another Sailor Senshi tactic to get men!). Cloud: Ugh... That's a staggering amount of errors. Usagi: Go go Makochan! Hikaru: Oh honestly... > >"Oups!" she said innocently as she held his arm. Cloud: "Oops" misspelled. > >"Be careful not to fall." was Trunks' response. > >They resumed walking, Makoto was still holding Trunks' arm, happy that >her maneuver worked. The purple hair boy, on the other hand, didn't >mind if she was holding his arm, as a matter of fact, he didn't even >seem to noticed. Cloud: Lots of errors again... I'm getting sick of this. Ranma: He doesn't even notice? (frowns) I have always thought of Trunks as a guy sensitive to women's advances. > >"Hu... Makoto?" Trunks told her. > Cloud: "Huh" misspelled again. >"Yes?" she asked. > >"Can I ask you a question?" he said. Ranma: (Trunks voice) And could you please stop trying to stop the circulation in my arm? > >"Sure! [Is he going to ask me out on a date?]" Hikaru: Dream on. > >"Do you remember what happened yesterday at the puppet show?" he >continued. > >"Yeah, what about it?" > >"Those girls that were fighting the monster, who were they?" Cloud: Replace "," with ";". > >"Well, (a little disappointed about the question) those were the Sailor >Senshi. They fight for love and justice." she answered. > >"*Love* and Justice?? [Wow! Is that corny or what?]" he repeated a >little surprised. Cloud: Hear, hear! Usagi: HEY!! Who are you to mock us, you terrorist-mercenary!? Goku: Calm down, you two. > >"Is there something wrong about that?" > >"No... not really. [Just sounds corny that's all.]" he told her "Do >they usually appear and beat up monsters?" Cloud: ................... > >"Well sure, each time a monster appears threatening the citizens, they >show up." she responded. > >"You're telling me this as if a monster on the rampage was a daily >thing." the Sayan hybrid pointed out a little surprise "Is it?" Cloud: ..................... Usagi: Omit "this". > >"Well not exactly. I mean... It isn't normal, but each time a monster >appears they show up." she explained. > >"And does a couple of girls in mini-skirts using some weird powers are >considered normal?" Trunks asked again. Cloud: Remove "does". > >"Well... Yes." she answered a little confused. > >"You mean people don't ask questions about them?" he asked once more. > >"Well, sure they do. But they make dolls and sell video games instead >of investigating, people consider them more like some sort of publicity >than anything else." > >"It must really be tough on them, to be seen that way" Trunks declared. Cloud: ................ Ranma: (whistles) There you go... That's the gentleman he's supposed to be. > >"You really think so?" Makoto asked him as she smiled, no one she ever >met though that way before. Most of the people she knew told her how >cool they were, but no one ever thought of them as human beeings. Cloud: Replace first comma with ";", and "beings" misspelled. > >"Sure I do. People should like them for what they do instead of >treating them as some sort of merchandise." Trunks answered. He then >noticed that Makoto was smiling at him "Wh... what? Was it something I >said?" Cloud: ...................... > >"No. Nothing at all. I just... didn't knew you thought that way, that's >all." she answered "Is there anything else you want to know?" Cloud: Double past tense, and punctuation mistake. > >"Not really." he responded "Thanks for filling me in, Makoto." Cloud: Punctuation mistake. How about asking for her sizes, Trunks? Usagi & Hikaru: DIE!! (The two magical girls start beating him up. Ranma helps with a few Moko Takabisha. Goku wonders what Cloud said to offend them.) > >"By the way, Trunks." she added "You can call me Mako-chan like all my >friends do." Cloud: OW! Hey! Stop it! (starts dodging) I need to make corrections! Ranma: (smirks) I will take care of it. Punctuation mistake there. Usagi & Hikaru: Thanks, Ranma! (resumes hitting Cloud) Cloud: All right, I have had enough! METEOR RAIN!! (Six meteors shoot out of Cloud's sword. Hikaru blasts them away with Honou No Ya spell. Usagi barely manages to dodge the projectiles, knocked away by the force of explosion. Ranma gets mad. Goku gets hit by two stray meteors.) Ranma: You have got some nerve, Strife, attacking my friends like that! Cloud: What are you going to do about it, wimp? Ranma: (seeing red) I WILL SHOW YOU WHO'S THE WIMP!! (Goku blasts his way out of the rabbles he was buried under.) Goku: (in an authoritive voice) Stop! (Ranma and Cloud lower their guard, neither willing to go up against the Saiyajin.) Ranma: (glares at Cloud) We WILL settle this after the review. Cloud: (glaring back coldly) Agreed. > >"Hun... sure... if you want me to." he said. Cloud: "Huh" misspelled again. > >"Trunks?" she said. > >"Yes?" > >"How do your friends call you?" she asked him. > >"They call me by my name." he answered a little confused "Why do you >ask?" Cloud: .................. Ranma: Come to think of it, none of the Dragon Ball characters has a nickname... > >"Well..." she said "Can I call you Trunks-kun?" Cloud: ............. Hikaru: Not much of a nickname, is it? > >"Well... er... sure... that's fine by me." he told her still a little >confused. > >"Oh! And another thing..." she said "Would you like to..." she was >suddenly interrupted by a bipping sound that came from her pocket [Uh >Oh, there's trouble.] "Um... I have to go now." she told him "See you >tomorrow at school." as she left Trunks behind. Cloud: LOTS of mistakes in that paragraph. Usagi: Well, looks like Makochan has a hard time ahead with Trunks. > >"Hun... Yeah, whatever..." Trunks said not very sure of what just >happened, although he did managed to hear a bipping sound. Cloud: "Beeping" misspelled. > > >On another street, Makoto took out her communicator after making sure >that no one saw her: Cloud: Replace ":" with ";". > >"Makoto here, what is it?" she asked to the person on the other side of >the line. > >"Mako-chan, there's a new monster attacking the central mall, we need >your help!" said Rei "Hurry up!" Cloud: .............. > >"Okay, I'll be right there!" she responded, then she turned off her >communicator "JUPITER POWER MAKEUP!" Cloud: .............. Goku: A fight scene at last! > > > >Meanwhile, Trunks who was now alone, was walking home. He suddenly >stopped and thought. Cloud: Replace "." with ",". > >[Since I'm now going to school I might as well get myself a uniform and >a school bag.] Usagi: I sense an another forced plot coming... > >He decided to go to a shop instead of home, after all, he didn't have >much to do. Cloud: Start a new sentence with "after all". > >[I still can't believe I got stuck in this mess,] he thought [if I ever >knew they were going to send me to school I wouldn't have accepted that >invitation from Usagi in the first place.] <sigh> Cloud: ................ Ranma: Hehehe. > >It only took him a few minutes to find a shop that was open. After >finding a uniform that fit and a school bag, he was ready to be on his >way back home. > >[Maybe this won't be so bad.] he thought again [I'll might get a chance >to know this place better by being a student.] Cloud: .................. > >Suddenly, outside the shop, a bunch of people ran through screaming and >yelling. Trunks came out of the shop to see what was all commotion Cloud: Move "was" after "commotion". >about. He managed to stop one of the terrified citizens and asked him >what was going on. > >"A monster appeared at the central mall!" the guy said "It started >wreaking the place... the Sailor Senshi came to the rescue... it's a >mad house over there!" Cloud: Punctuation needed, and "madhouse" is one word. > >He released the guy and went to the mall. The area was now desolated, >everyone ran away, but Trunks could sense a fight inside the building. >Since no one was watching, he used the Bukujutsu technique to fly to >the top of the mall, thinking it would be better if he came from above. >Once inside, the purple hair boy could clearly see what was happening. >The Senshi were fighting a monster, or at least three of them were. >Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars were lying on the ground K.O. The other >Senshi were having a hard time against the monster. Ranma: Well, well, well... I guess the new hero is about to make his entrance. > >Unlike the previous monster, this one was 100% metal with an extra pair >of arms and arachnid legs. Goku: Hmm... If it's made purely out of metal, wouldn't Sailor Jupiter's electric attacks be highly effective? > >[Those girls are having a hard time against that thing!] Trunks thought >[Where's that Tuxedo guy to help them out? I've got to help them! But >how?] Cloud: .................... Goku: Why won't he just attack the thing right now? Hikaru: He has to get into a costume. It's a genre thing. > >Suddenly, an idea came to Trunks' mind. He started looking around the >mall until he found a disguise shop. He immediately went inside >searching for something. Usagi: Awfully convinient, isn't it? Ranma: You said it. > >"SUPREME THUNDER!" Sailor Jupiter shouted as an electric bolt came out >of her tiara striking the android. Her foe created an energy barrier >protecting it from the blast. Goku: So that's why it's still alive. > >"Darn! We're getting nowhere like this!" Sailor Venus said "Sailor >Mercury, haven't you found that thing's weak point yet?" Cloud: ............. > >"Not yet!" she spoke while consulting her computer. > >The monster stared at the remaining Senshi preparing his next attack. >All of his arms started spinning as drills, making the kind of noise >you hear when you go see your dentist. He dashed towards the Senshi >arms first. Goku: Wouldn't that mean his shield is down? Isn't this a golden opportunity for an attack? Then again, Sailor Senshis' attacks take some time to charge and are easily recognized... So the best option may be a defense in this case. > >"Take cover!" shouted Sailor Jupiter. > >All the Senshi closed there eyes (Now why should that help?) expecting >the worst. At that precise second, about a dozen ki spheres struck the >android. Cloud: "Their", not "there". Goku: Really, there's little advantage in closing your eyes. If they are aware of an oncoming attack, they should be looking for ways to minimize the damage. Hikaru: It's just an indication of how little skill they actually have, and how much they rely solely on their powers. Usagi: Weeelll excuse me! I have a life you know! It's not like my sole purpose in life is fighting, unlike SOME (notices Ranma wincing) peo-ple... Ranma: Thank you so much for reminding me that, Usagi... (sighs) Usagi: Uh, uh, I didn't mean you, Ranma! I meant Hikaru! Hikaru: (scowls) Good going, rabbit. Usagi: .............. >Although his barrier protected him, the impact sent him against a wall >instead of its targets. >The three Senshi turned to see who was there savior. What they saw was >a blond guy dressed in brown leather boots and black clothes. He was >carrying a sword on his back and wore a black mask which hid his face. >Although the most impresive thing about him was a) the fact that he was >levitating next to them, and b) the golden aura that surrounded him. >It was Trunks in Super Saiyan mode. He managed to find a Zorro outfit >in the shop but he wasn't using the cape or the hat (he didn't like >those). Usagi: That last two sentences would have been better if they were phrased as Trunks's thoughts. > >"If you're so eager to fight someone..." Trunks said trying to use a >different tone of voice "I'll take you on!" as he flew towards his >adversary. Cloud: ............... Usagi: Hey, where's the hero speech? You MUST make a speech before fighting! Hikaru: He's cooler than you in that regard. Usagi: Shut up! Speeches are cool! Hikaru: Are not! Usagi: They are! Hikaru: Not! Usagi: Are! Hikaru: Not! Usagi: Are! (Ranma and Goku sweatdrops, and Cloud chuckles as he watches the senseless debate.) > >The android regained its defensive pose waiting for its opponent, he >was quite confused as he noticed he couldn't read his moves or >determine his position. The metal menace was receiving one blow after >another while being unable to parry or counterattack. It was finally >sent against another wall. The impact also cause its shield to stop >working. Cloud: Replace the first comma with a ";" and "cause" needs to be in a past tense. Goku: Go, Trunks! > >Trunks suddenly appeared a few feet in front of him, he held both hands >forward, did some strange arm moves, and then put both hands forward >again, index fingers and thumbs touching. Cloud: Start a new sentence after "him". > >"BURNING ATTACK!" he shouted releasing a huge ki blast from the palm of >his hands. The blast struck the monster turning it into scrap metal. >The Senshi were amazed by what they just saw, they couldn't even see >him hit the creature. Cloud: Replace the last comma with ";". Goku: I guess most of you are aware of this, but Burning Attack is one of the more powerful attacks in Trunks's arsenal. It's a, well, ki blast. > >"Wh... What did he do?" Sailor Venus asked "I wasn't even able to see >most of his moves!" Cloud: ............... Goku: Considering his power level, no one in Sailor Moon should be able to stand up against him at this point. Heck, he could probably defeat Queen Metallia by himself. Ranma: (scowls) It's really unfair the way you Dragon Ball characters are so powerful... Maybe that's why so little crossovers involve Dragon Ball. > >The other two Senshi nodded in agreement, they couldn't find the words >to express what they just saw. Trunks slowly flew towards the three >girls which looked at him very amazed. Cloud: Replace the first comma with ";". Ranma: How about "Oh my?" Ami did say it sometime ago... > >"Are you girls all right?" he asked. > >"Y... yes... thank you." Sailor Mercury finally said. > >"Here." Trunks said as he pulled two seeds out of a pouch he had on his >belt and gave them to her. It was a good thing he visited Karim-sama >before leaving in his time travel, Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars seemed >to be in need of a senzu. Goku: Nah, they heal fast in their Senshi forms. Of course, Trunks aren't aware of it... Usagi: That last sentence wasn't exactly smooth... > >"Give these to your friends." he added "All there wounds will be healed >immediately." he then started to levitate heading towards a nearby >window. Cloud: ................ > >"WAIT!!!" Sailor Venus shouted "Who are you?" Cloud: ................ Hikaru: What do you suppose he will call himself? I would guess "Golden Warrior". Usagi: "The Invincible Man". Cloud: "Blond Messiah". Goku: "Ultimate Justice". Ranma: "Captain Saiyajin". > >"[Uh oh, I didn't think of a name!] Er.......You can call >me......er....... SUPER SAIYA-MAN!!!!!!!" he shouted back as he left >through the window. Cloud: Lame and cliched. But I guess it's a logical choice. > >"Super Saiya-man???" repeated the three Senshi still in amazement. > Usagi: Add a "," after "Senshi". > > > >End of chapter 3. >----------------------------------------------------------------------- Usagi: (stretches) Whew... That was a long review. Well, to be honest, I was a bit disappointed with this chapter. The plot elements were a bit forceful, and there were some undeniable characterization errors, particularly with Trunks and my parents. No interesting developments were made, either. Unless I'm mistaken, this chapter's sole purpose was to make Trunks into a superhero. In other words, it was just short of boring. Let's hope for better future chapters. > > >Author's notes: > >I really hope I'm doing this the right way, I'm not 100% sure if all >the characters in this fanfic normally act the way I'm making them act. >I have to admit that I haven't got a clue if Future Trunks is a good >student or enjoys studying. But since this is MY fanfic I thought it >would be fun if I made Trunks act like most teenagers who hate school. Ranma: Well, it's an excusable level of artificial license. But most people think of Trunks as an intelligent, mature kind of guy. >And as for the Sailor Senshi, I really hope I didn't exaggerated with >Makoto's lust for men. > Hikaru: Don't worry, you have got them exactly right. (Usagi doesn't retort, worriedly watching Ranma and Cloud starting to exchange glares.) >See you in chapter 4... No words were exchanged. The eternally cursed martial artist and elite mercenary simply stood up from their seats and headed out of the theater. Others followed silently as well. Usagi and Hikaru, for once, shared a glance that was not of rivalry, but of anxiety. They both knew that Ranma was a formidable fighter with an ability to defy odds. Cloud, however, was one of the few characters they knew who were capable of holding their own against the likes of Saiyajin. A fight between them did not look equal, to say the least. As they reached the gymnasium, Goku took up the role of a judge. "The match will be 5 minutes long at maximum. If it doesn't end by then, it will be considered a tie, no matter how the match went. I will prevent any outside interference." Hikaru and Usagi mentally cursed at the last statement. Neither of the combatants looked particularly happy about the rules, but took up respective stances. "Begin!" Continued in part 4 of 8 Tell me what you think: VGAP <vg_ap@hotmail.com> homepage URL: http://www.fortunecity.com/marina/thunder/181/index.html