The indignities of it all! MST review by VGAP I know that a lot of you must be tired of usual disclaimers, but nevertheless I somehow feel obliged to say it...... *DEEP BREATH* This story was not meant for a profit. All the characters belong to respective owners.This was written without anybody's permission, but the author claims no responsibility nor copyright. This can be distributed freely, but it is not to be used outside of nonprofittable entertainment. There, you can all unplug your ears now..... Comments would be appreciated. Criticism will be praised. Ignorance awaits flames. Letter bombs will be returned. If you send me cash, checks, or your credit card number, I will worship you! I can be reached at . Or simply visit my homepage at . Ah, MST review... Always wanted to do one of these neat things. If I DON'T get a good response, I will STILL write it! Hehehe... Since this features characters from several series, some of them are undeniably out of character and may even have a relationship between them. All I can say is visit my Church of Crossover Couples at . Yes, this is a stupid way of advertising it, but hey, I want more people to vote. Enough rambling, let's start the story! MST of "Boy Meets Girls" by Julian Soullard Part 2 of 8 "So will you tell me now why Hikaru and Usagi were acting like that?" Goku asked to Cloud. "Well, it's like this. When the Magic Knights returned from Cephiro, they decided that they had a duty to protect people of Tokyo too. So they started fighting monsters that frequently appeared in Juuban. Needless to say, Sailor Senshi got more than a little curious and confronted them when they finished off a monster. "I don't know all the details, but basically Sailor Moon told them to stop their activities since it was her job. Of course, the way she said it could have been taken as an insult, and a certain Water Knight DID feel offended. It degenerated into a fight that stopped only when they realised that they were putting people in danger. Ever since then, Sailor Senshi and Magic Knights have had a fierce rivalry going on. "It got worse when both Usagi and Hikaru fell for the same guy... And I don't think I need to tell you who it is." Cloud finished. "Now I'm beginning to see the picture." Goku shook his head in amazement. "How does Ranma attract so many girls anyway?" "Don't ask me. It's one of the greatest mysteries of anime." Cloud shrugged. "Besides, it's so amusing to watch their idiocy." As if on cue, Ranma stepped back into the theater. His hair was letting out some steam, courtesy of kettle of hot water (NTM). He had some snacks with him along with a bag of punctuations. Behind him marched in his girlfriends, who were pointedly avoiding facing each other. Cloud supposed that they had another shouting match again. "Take a seat, everyone. The fanfic's about to resume." Goku said. Ranma glared at the soldier again, who calmly met his gaze. "This time, you aren't going to steal my periods." "No thanks, Saotome. You aren't my type." Goku wondered why Usagi and Hikaru were turning beet red. "Ranma, stop choking him. We have a fic to review." Ranma grumbled a few times before settling down. Cloud coughed twice, and took a sip of coke as he watched the fanfic resume. >Dragon ball Z/Sailor Moon fanfic. Cloud: "Ball" needs to be capitalized. > >"Boy meets girls" > >By Julian Soullard (e-mail: jnsoullard@hotmail.com) > > > Warning: All characters from this fanfic are copy right from Akira Cloud: "Copyright" is one word. >Toriyama (Dragon ball Z) and Takeuchi Naoko (Sailor Moon) so don't sue Cloud: "Ball" needs to be capitalized. >me. Also worth noticing, this is my first fanfic and english isn't my Cloud: "Noting", you mean. And capitalize English. >native language (it's spanish and french), so if you don't like it keep >that in mind. Cloud: Oh, I most definitely don't like your fic. My mouth is getting dry from speaking so much. Spanish and French needs to be capitalized. > >---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > AND NOW ON WITH.... Usagi: Where's the drum roll? > > Chapter 2: The encounter! > > > It was almost 6:00 AM but Trunks was already up doing some light >warm up exercises before breakfast. He was planning on going to an Goku: (nods) Good, Trunks. Keep up on your exercise. >electronic shop this morning. Some parts of the time machine were >seriously damaged and he had no replacements for them, therefore the Cloud: ";" instead of ",". >only thing he could do was hoping there were those kind of parts in >Tokyo that he could purchase. Most electronic shops open around nine or Ranma: Hmm... I really gotta wonder about that. I mean, Dragon Ball's technology is WAY more advanced than ours... >ten o'clock but Trunks didn't want to waste any time by getting up >late. Cloud: After all, there are so many interesting things he can do in a reality he's not going to stay for long. Hikaru: Don't go any further. >Once he finished breakfast he got up ready to leave. It was now 7:00 >AM. > >[I don't think any store will be open this soon.] he thought [I might Cloud: .......... >as well jog down to Tokyo, It'll make some time till they open.] and Cloud: Capitalization error. >then he left. Usagi: This "and then he left" passage seems rather unnecessary. > > >A few moments later, down in Tokyo. Cloud: This kind of sentence fragment is acceptable in script format, but not in prose format. > >"Aww man, I'm late for school!!" said Makoto [Man, that patrol last Cloud: ......... >night was really a waste of time, not only that monster didn't show up Cloud: ";" instead of ",". >but I went so late to bed that no wonder I overslept.] Cloud: "It's" missing here. > >While thinking of how useless was yesterday's patrol, Makoto wasn't >paying attention of the biker gang that she bumped into. > >"Hey! Watch it, girl!" said a guy with a black leather jacket. > >"Oh, sorry!" she said while still running. > >"Were do you think you're going?" asked another man standing in front >of Makoto cutting her way through. Cloud: Comma needed after "Makoto", and "where", not "were". > >"Hey, I already said I'm sorry! Now get out of my way, I'm late for >school!" Makoto stated as she stopped running. Ranma: She will have to do much better than that to get rid of them. > >"Well maybe we're not accepting your apologies, toots!" Hikaru: (shaking her head) It's sad that no matter what happens to the world, there are bound to be some rabbles everywhere. > >"What did you call me??" the tall brunette declared, obviously upset. Usagi: Yeah! Show them, Makoto! > >"Wait a minute, I know this girl!" said a third biker "You're the one Cloud: ......... >who put my bro in the hospital last month. You're gonna pay for that!!" Ranma: Do you suppose he's talking about the punks she beat up when she made her first appearence, Usagi? Usagi: Maybe. It doesn't really matter. > >"Listen, if you don't want to end up like your brother, move aside!" Cloud: Anyone with common sense would have been running for hills now. Ranma: How good is Makoto anyway? In civilian form, I mean. Goku: Considering the amount of damages she is capable of, I will rate her at around power level 50 or so. > >"Well aren't we in a hurry." pointed out the first biker pulling out a >baseball bat. Hikaru: Baseball bat? I think most biker in a gang would have a better weapon than that. > >"Maybe we'll have to teach you some manners." declaired the second Cloud: "Declared" misspelled. >pulling out a knife. > >"Unless you want to do us a little favor instead..." said the third >looking at Makoto's dress with not so good intentions in mind. Ranma: Man, punk-type people have it rough in anime. Hikaru: Indeed. Most of the time, they get beaten and humiliated. I can almost pity them. > >There were three bikers thirsty for blood (and other occasional things >like sex) against one high school girl. But since they were dealing >with Makoto, it would have been better for the bikers to find some more >help. That would make things more even. Makoto was aware that she could >take care of these punks in a couple of seconds. But just as the guy >with the baseball bat was about to launch the first attack... Cloud: There's the violation of prose format again... > >"Why don't you try to fight a guy instead." said a voice behind them. Cloud: Saw that one coming? (Everybody except Goku raises his/her hand.) Goku: (surprised voice) Wow, Trunks is going to help her out! (Everybody stares at Goku, who doesn't notice it.) Hikaru: (whispering to Ranma) Is he always THIS oblivious? Ranma: Most of the time. > >The three bikers stopped there attack as they turned around to see who Cloud: "Their" instead of "there". >was talking to them. As they did, they saw a boy with lank purple hair Usagi: Maybe "as they did" should have been omitted. It disrupts the flow. >wearing a blue jacket standing in front of them with his hands buried >in his pockets. > >[Wow, he's gorgeous!!] Makoto thought. Usagi: You said it, Mako-chan! Hikaru: (snorts) Do you ogle every attractive males near you? Usagi: Hey, there's nothing wrong with that! (notices Ranma looking annoyed) Uh... You don't mind, do you Ranma? Ranma: Mind? Why should I mind whatever a sexless clutz like you do? Usagi: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?! Ranma: I SAID THAT YOU'RE AN IRRITATING, UNCUTE CLUTZ! Usagi: WHY YOU... YOU JERK!! (Usagi bashes Ranma on head with a Moon Scepter. Ranma holds his head in pain and turns away from Usagi, who returns the gesture. Hikaru blinks, then smiles at the unexpected but welcomed conflict between them. Goku looks worried, while Cloud enjoys the spectacle.) > >"Stay out of this, kid!" said the one with knife. > >"Why don't you try fighting me instead..." declared Trunks "That is >unless... girls are the only thing you can deal with." Cloud: Punctuation needed. > >"What did you say??" asked the guy with the bat "Maybe you're the one >who needs a lesson!" Cloud: Punctuation needed again. > >The biker took his bat with both hands and swung it towards Trunks' Cloud: Add an "s" after apostrophe. >head. He was quite surprised as Trunks stopped the blow with his bare >hand and held the bat with an iron grasp. > Ranma: The beating starts. >"Listen..." Trunks began him "You can get lost OR you can get hurt." Cloud: "Began him"? What the heck does that mean? And punctuation needed again. Hikaru: Considering that their only purpose in life is to be beaten up by these new characters to make their heroic entrance, they will definitely stay. > >The biker was still trying to release the bat from Trunks' grasp, not Cloud: Add an "s" after apostrophe. >paying much attention to what his opponent was saying. Trunks knew he >couldn't reason with him and decided to give him a swift kick in the >stomach. The biker released the bat as he flew next to his friends. The >other two bikers launched there attacks simultaneously, Trunks received Cloud: "Their", not "there". And a new sentence should begin after "simultaneously". >them both, one with a punch in the face and the other with the baseball >bat he just obtained. Both bikers went flat on there back. Cloud: "Their", not "there". > >Once all of his opponents were on the ground Trunks dropped the bat and >headed toward the girl who was being attacked. > >"Are you all right, miss?" he asked. Usagi: Can't you tell? > >Makoto was looking at him with her typical big dreamy eyes and was >blushing. >Trunks reminded her so much of a boyfriend she once had (what a >coincidence!). Hikaru: (shakes her head) Oh honestly, those Sailor Senshi need to learn to control their hormones. Usagi: Hey, it's not like we jump on every man we see! Ranma: But you ogle every attractive man you see. Usagi: Well at least it's better than looking at a JERK! Ranma: A jerk would be glad not to be ogled by you! (Ranma and Usagi again turn away from each other, trying to ignore the pain in their chest. Hikaru grins as the situation worsens to her liking.) > >"Y... yes, thank you for saving me. I don't know what those thugs >would've done to me if you hadn't shown up." Makoto lied with a >delicate voice. Cloud: Probably sue her for giving them permanent damage. Ranma: (thinking) Why does she have to be so fickle? Not that I love her or anything, but... Usagi: (thinking) Why does he have to get jealous so easily? I never said that Trunks was cuter than him... Hikaru: (thinking) If they keep this up, I and Ranma can finally be together! Goku: (thinking) Oh no! I ran out of popcorn! > >"Did they hurt you?" > >"N... Yes. It seems I twisted my ankle while you were fighting. I don't >think I'll make it to school by my self..." she lied again trying to >use an even more seductive voice this time. Cloud: A comma recommended, and "myself" is one word. > >"Here, let me help you." said Trunks holding her by the arms "I'll take >you to your school, which way is it?" Cloud: Punctuation needed. And Trunks, go for the homerun! Usagi: YOU BETTER NOT HAVE MEANT WHAT I THINK YOU MEANT!! Cloud: (smirks) Yes, I did. Usagi: DIE! MOON SPIRAL HEARTATTACK! (The heart-shaped projectile smashes into the SOLDIER, knocking him over. Unfortunately, he stands right back up and casts a healing spell on himself.) Usagi: AAAARRRGGH! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO POWERFU- (Hikaru, tired of holding her ears, bonks Usagi with her sword and knocks her out.) Goku: Hikaru, did you really have to do that? Now you will have to take her place until she wakes up. Hikaru: (winces) My ears are still ringing, you know. (Ranma is about to reprimand her, when he remembers that he was annoyed with Usagi both out of jealousy and noise pollution. He decides to let it slide.) > >On the way to school Makoto was grabbing Trunks' arm a little too Cloud: Add "s" after apostrophe. >tightly so that she would be able to *walk*. Trunks noticed that >Makoto's face was extremely red. > >"Your face looks kinda red." Trunks pointed out "Are you feeling all >right? Are you sick?" Cloud: Punctuation needed. Ranma: Strange; I don't think Trunks is that dense or oblivious. Hikaru: Well, I guess it's for the plot. > >"No! Not at all!" she responded making a goofy smile "By the way, my >name is Makoto Kino, what's yours?" Cloud: Punctuation needed. Hikaru: (Makoto voice) Where do you live? Can I have your phone number? Are you open this Sunday? Ranma: (impressed) Wow, that's some impersonation. Hikaru: (smiles) Thank you, Ranma. Ranma: (smiles back, thinking) She is even cuter than Akane when she smiles... And she's really nice, except to Usagi... > >"I'm Trunks." he said, then stopped walking as they reached the gate of >Makoto's school "Is this your school?" Cloud: ............ Ranma: (Trunks voice) I'm often worn by men. Hikaru: Ranma, that wasn't funny. Ranma: Sorry. > >"Yes, it is." > >"Well then, I'll be leaving now, you should go to the infirmary and get >that ankle checked." > >"I will, and thanks again, I don't know how to repay you for what you >did back there." Cloud: I'm sure she knows MANY ways she can repay him. Hikaru: I don't know if even she would sink THAT low... > >"Don't mention it. Well, bye now." he said before leaving. > (Usagi wakes up.) Usagi: Arrgg... That hurt, you Magic Slut! Hikaru: (ignoring the insult) Try to be more quiet next time. Isn't that right, Ranma? (smiles cutely at him) Ranma: Sure is. (smiles back) (Usagi starts panicking as she sees how Ranma and Hikaru are getting along wonderfully.) Usagi: (thinking) No! I have to do something before it's too late! Ranma may be an insensitive pervert, but he's MY pervert! Cloud: (reachs into the empty barrel) Oh dang, no more snack to go along with the soap opera. >Makoto saw him jogging down the street, she was STILL looking at him >with big dreamy eyes and blushing. Cloud: ";" instead of ",". > >[Darn! I forgot to ask for his phone number.] she thought [Trunks? It's >kind of a cute name. I'm really looking forward to see you again.] Cloud: ............ Hikaru: (sweatdrops) Ahh... I don't think his name is cute... > >Makoto was already late for class, but she didn't care, something good >came out of it. Cloud: ";" instead of ",". > > >Later that day, at lunch time, Usagi, Ami and Makoto were sitting by >the same tree they usually did during that time of the day. Usagi was >eating like a pig (as always) while Ami was eating in a much more >civilized way. Makoto on the other hand wasn't eating, she was lost in >thought looking at the sky. Cloud: ";" instead of ",". > >"So, are you gonna tell us who he is, Mako-chan?" Usagi asked out of >the blue. Ranma: Meatball Head isn't that observant. Usagi: HEY! (Ranma sticks his tongue out at her. Usagi almost returns the gesture, but then suddenly turns away, looking sad instead of angry. Ranma blinks.) Ranma: (thinking) Maybe I have gone too far... > >"Hun?? Wh...what are you talking about?" Makoto said confused. Cloud: "Huh", you mean? And a comma recommended after "said". > >"Don't play with us! We know that look! It's about a boy isn't it?" >Usagi declared with a devilish grin. Hikaru: It suits her well. Ranma: Yeah, it makes her look adoringly mischievous and-(shuts his mouth as he realizes what he's saying, not to mention Hikaru's shocked gaze) Uh... I mean... (Usagi turns around, looking surprised.) Usagi: Ranma, d-do you mean that? Ranma: Uh... Well... Ark... (Hikaru narrows her eyes.) Hikaru: (dangerous tone) Ranma... Are you saying she's prettier than me? Ranma: I never said that! Cloud: So do you mean it or not? Ranma: Yes-no... I mean... (Usagi takes this as an affirmative response and glomps him, this time successfully.) Usagi: (crying) Oh Ranma! I'msosorryforlookingatTrunksyou'recuterthanhim honestpleaseforgiveme! Ranma: Uh... Yeah... (his expression softens) I'm sorry too, Usako, I shouldn't have insulted you. (Usagi hugs him even tighter before releasing him, flash a big smile, and go back to her seat. Ranma starts to smile before feeling the hair on his neck rise. Turning around, he sees Hikaru looking angry and sad at the same time. She turns away from him, obviously upset.) Ranma: (thinking) Oh shit...! Goku: Can we go back to the review now? > >"Well who is he?" Ami asked. > >"His name is Trunks and he has to be the cutest guy in the world!" >Makoto answered "He's good looking, brave, and a real gentleman too, >and..." Cloud: ........... > >"Hold it! Hold it! He can't possibly be cuter than my Mamo-chan!" Usagi >interrupted "And what could make him so brave? Don't tell he saved you >from the clutches of a certain death like a true prince charming?" Cloud: ............ Usagi: Well, Mamo-chan IS cuter than Trunks... (hastily adds) but isn't cuter than you, Ranchan. (winks at Ranma who trys to ignore Usagi's affectionate gesture and Hikaru's quiet glare) > >"Well... as a matter of fact... he did." Makoto responded. > >"Wow, what *did* he do?" Ami asked. > >"On my way to school a gang of bikers tried to pick a fight with me." >Makoto told them "Trunks showed up and beat the living crap out of >them." Cloud: ............ > >"How romantic." said Usagi sarcastically unable to imagine what could >Makoto see in someone that violent. Usagi: Hey, I really do think that's romantic. > >"Do you mean you weren't able to handle those thugs?" Ami asked. > >"Of course I could've!" declared Makoto "It's just that... well... you >don't oftenly see a guy that comes out of nowhere to defend you these >days. So I decided to let him fight for me, it felt kinda nice." Cloud: ............. Ranma: But Akane complains just about every time I try to help her... Usagi: That's exactly why I say you should dump her. (Ranma wisely refrains from commenting.) > > > >Approximately at that same time, Trunks had visited several electronic >shops. So far, he already went to ten different stores. He managed to >buy some of the parts he needed but he still couldn't find the most >important one. Ranma: Like I said earlier, how did he convert the dollar into yen without an ID? > >"Excuse me, sir?" said Trunks to one of the guys who worked there. Usagi: Why didn't he just say "clerk"? > >"Yes? What can I do for you?" asked the salesman. > >"I was looking for a certain electronic adapter. I would like to know >if you have it on sale." he answered. > >"What kind of adapter would that be?" he asked again. > >"It's like this one." Trunks said pulling out the adapter out of his >jacket. > >The salesman took the device in his hand and looked at it a little >intrigued. > >"This is certainly a very unusual piece." he claimed as he put it on >the table "We usually don't sale this kind of adapters, they're mostly >used in mechanical and computer industries." > Cloud: .......... >"Is there any way you could tell me where to find one?" Trunks asked "I >need it badly." > >"Well... let me see." the guy responded as he took what appeared to be >a catalog out of a shelf. After searching in a few pages he looked back >at Trunks "I guess I could arrange it so that we get one on our next >shipment. You'll have to pay in advance of course." Cloud: ........... > >"That's no problem." Trunks stated "When will you have it here?" Cloud: ........... > >"In about a month or so." > >"One MONTH???" he asked shocked "Why so much time?" Cloud: .......... > >"Well we already got our shipment this month." the man said "We have to >wait for next month for our next shipment, that's how it is, do you >still want to order the adapter?" Cloud: I'm going to run out of period again at this rate. > >"Yeah, how much is it anyway?" > >A few minutes later Trunks came out of the store while thinking about >his new problem. > >[One month?] he repeated in his mind [Man, I can't believe I'll be >stuck here for a month, what am I gonna do?] Cloud: ................ Usagi: That scene with clerk is boring. If the author just wanted to explain why Trunks would have to stay there for long, he could have done it in a more concise way. > >Trunks decided to take a walk at the park to clear his mind, It was >2:00 PM but he didn't feel hungry. On his way to the park, something >cough his attention, it was some kind of show for kids with puppets. Cloud: "Caught", not "cough". And ";" instead of ",". > >"Daddy, daddy, let's go see!!! Please!!!!" said a voice next to Trunks. > >"Okay son, just take it easy." said an older voice "You go and watch >while I get us some ice cream." Cloud: ........... > >"Yeay!!" said the little boy as he went towards the show. > >He looked as the boy left his father. Trunks never had that kind of >relationship with his father. Heck, Vejita died when he was too young >to even remember him. The only thing he knew about him was what his >mother and Gohan told him. Most of those stories didn't speak very well >of him though. Still, growing up without a father had never been easy >on him. Sure his mother was great. The greatest actually. But she >wasn't his father. She was his mother. He had to admit he felt jealous >of that little boy's happiness. Usagi: *sniff* It's times like these that I realise that I take my parents for granted... *sniff* Touching paragraph, well done. Ranma: I wonder... Pop is an irresponsible coward, but would I miss him if I didn't know him? Cloud: (uncharacteristically sincere tone) I don't remember my father either... Goku: I sometimes feel guilty that I left my family so many times when I should have been there. (Ranma notices Hikaru remaining silent and starts feeling guilty, knowing that he made her upset.) > >Not far away, Usagi, Ami and Makoto were walking home as another day of >school ended. > >"You got a 33 on your test?" Ami asked Usagi. > >"Ami, please don't throw it at my face, I'll have a hard time >explaining it to my parents." she answered "How much did you get, >Mako-chan?" Cloud: ........... Usagi: ARGH! I hate it when people remind me of my bad grades... > >Both Usagi and Ami noticed that Makoto wasn't listening, she was lost >in thought. Cloud: ";" instead of ",". > >"Mako-chan!!!!" Usagi repeated. > >"Hun?? Wh... what? What is it?" she asked as she finally landed her >feet on the ground. > >"You were thinking about that boy again, weren't you?" > >"Well... sort of..." she answered, Usagi sighed. Cloud: "." instead of ",". > >"Mako-chan, you really shouldn't let a boy distract you like that." Ami >told her "It isn't good for your school work [after all you did get a >47 on your test], and besides, you'll probably won't see that boy >again. Do you know what are the odds of you two finding each other in a >place as big as Tokyo..." Cloud: Punctuations needed badly. Ranma: OF COURSE they are going to meet each other again. It's the point of the story. > >"Look!" Makoto interrupted pointing to a crowd where Trunks was "It's >him!" Cloud: .......... Ranma: See? > >"So much for odds, Ami." Usagi teased. > >"I have to go and talk to him." Makoto said heading towards Trunks, >Usagi and Ami followed her. Usagi: The last passage is awkward; it should have been something like "Usagi and Ami after her". > >Trunks was still lost in thought, he didn't noticed three girls >approaching from behind. Cloud: Double past tense. Goku: He should have been able to sense their presense, you know. > >"Hi there!" said a voice next to Trunks. > >As he turned around he saw the girl who he saved (or at least that's >what he thought) this morning, next to her were two other girls wearing >a different school uniform in blue, one had short blue hair and the >other one was a blond who had a more *original* hair style. Cloud: Punctuations needed badly. > >"Oh... Hi." he finally said "You're the girl from this morning. Matoko, >isn't that right?" Cloud: ........... > >"Hun... it's Makoto not Matoko." she said (still with a big smile on Cloud: "Huh" misspelled again? And punctuation needed. >her face though) "Anyway I was just passing by when I saw you, I just >wanted to thank you again for helping me with those bikers." Cloud: So did she decide on how she wanted to thank him? Usagi: I'm warning you... (snarls) > >"Don't mention it, you have nothing to thank me for." > >The blond girl nudge at Makoto "Well? Are you gonna introduce us to >your cute little friend or not?" she asked. Cloud: Punctuation needed, and "nudge" needs to be in past tense. > >"Oh, sorry." she said, then addressed to Trunks "These are two of my >best friends, this is Usagi Tsukino and this is Ami Mizuno. Girls, this >is the guy I told you about at lunch." Cloud: ........... > >"Nice to meet you." Usagi said [He is kinda good looking.] she thought. Cloud: ........... Usagi: Only "kinda", Ranma. Certainly not as good looking as you are. Ranma: You don't have to keep reminding me... (Ranma steals a glance at silent Hikaru, who is still turned away from him. He starts to worry.) > >"Nice to meet you too." Ami added "Mako-chan told us you helped her >this morning, we wanted to thank you as well for what you did." Cloud: ........... > >"It was really no big deal." Trunks told her. > >"You're much too modest." Makoto stated "So tell us, are you a martial >artist?" Cloud: ............ Ranma: No, he's an alien from future trying to save the world. > >"Well... yeah, sort of." he answered. Ranma: "Sort of" meaning that he's really too powerful to be considered a martial artist. > >"Trunks is a real unusual name..." Ami said "Are you a foreigner?" Cloud: ............. Usagi: I'll say. Most people don't name their children after underwears. > >"Uh... yeah that's right." he answered again. He was getting a little >nervous that they asked him those sort of questions. > >"So what brings you to Japan?" Makoto asked "Family, friends... >girlfriend?" Cloud: .............. Goku: Well, he IS supposed to be helping ME.... > >"No, not really." he stated "I'm here by accident." Cloud: ............ > >"Really? Then allow us to guide you around while you're staying here." >Usagi insisted "It's the least we can do for you helping out >Mako-chan." Cloud: ............ > >"You really don't need to go through all that trouble, I'll be just >fine." he said, getting more nervous by the time. > >"Oh but we insist!" Makoto told him as she got closer to him. Usagi: That's Makochan alright, always so agressive. (Hikaru opens her mouth, probably to utter an insult, but closes it without saying anything.) > >Suddenly, at the puppet show a scream of terror was heard. Makoto, Ami, Cloud: Add a comma after "show". >Usagi and Trunks turned around to see what was all the commotion about. >A monster had appeared out of nowhere flying over the show, threatening >all the spectators. It had a humanoid form, it was like a werewolf with >the wings of a bat and the tail of a scorpion, his howls went deep >inside the heart of the little children down below. Cloud: Punctuations needed badly. >He defiantly didn't form part of the show. Cloud: "Defiantly"? Don't you mean "definitely"? >Everybody was trying to run for safety, it was a total mayhem. > Cloud: ";" instead of ",". >"What is THAT???" Trunks shouted "Girls take cover!" Cloud: ........... > >Trunks took them by there shoulders and pulled them back to safety. Cloud: "Their", not "there". > >[What are we gonna do?] Usagi thought [We can't transform if Trunks is >around, but we can't let that thing hurt those people either.] Cloud: ............ Usagi: Do you think Trunks will join us in this fanfic? Ranma: Who knows? > >"STOP!!!" shouted someone to the monster. > >As they all turned to see who was challenging the beast, they saw two >girls dressed in sailor fukus with very revealing mini-skirts. >One was dressed in red and had long black hair, the other was dressed >in orange and had long blond hair held up with a red ribbon. Ranma: Sailor Mars and Sailor Venus, undoubtedly. By the way, isn't Rei's hair colored dark purple? > >"We can't allow you to hurt those people!" said the one in red. > >"How dare you ruin these innocent kids entertainment!" said the one in >orange. > >"In the name of Mars..." shouted the one in red. > >"In the name of Venus..." shouted the one in orange. > >"WE SHALL PUNISH YOU!!!" shouted both making some strange Power Ranger >moves. Usagi: Nice speech, guys! (Usagi claps her hands, much to Hikaru and Cloud's disgust.) Cloud: Even Rufus doesn't speak that corny... > >[Wh...what the heck is going on here?] Trunks thought [What's this >freak show all about?] Cloud: .............. Goku: It's a beginning of a fight scene. Now I can put in more comments. > >The monster immediately took interest in its new opponents and launched >an attack. Meanwhile Trunks was still looking confused, not very sure >what to do. > Cloud: How about asking them for dates? Venus would accept immedeately. Usagi: Yeah, but I get the feeling that this is Trunks/Makochan fanfic. >"CRESCENT BEAM!" Sailor Venus shouted. > >A yellow energy beam came out of her index finger targeting the >monster, the beam went strait towards it's opponent but missed. The Cloud: "Straight", not "strait". "Strait" is a noun, not an adverb. Usagi: This sentence is a little awkward. Can't it be done smoother? >werewolf dodge the attack which struck the support of a huge sign on >top of a building instead. Cloud: "Dodge" needs to be in past tense. >The sign started to twiddle. It was about to fall on a kid paralyzed >with fear (because there's always some little brat who is paralyzed >with fear when something is about to fall on him/her, it's one of those >uunbreakable laws of nature!). Ranma: True, true. > >"That boy is going to get killed!" Ami shouted. Cloud: Well duh. Usagi: How can you be so calm about it!? Cloud: Gee, maybe because I worked for a terrorist group? > >"Stay here!" Trunks told them as he ran towards the kid. Cloud: And the hero goes to the rescue. How utterly cliched. > >The crowd that was running away from the crash site didn't made it easy >for Trunks to get to the boy, but by using his "more than human speed" Goku: WAY more than human speed, really. >he managed to grab the kid a few seconds before the sign hit the ground >(just like in those Segal, Van Dam and Schwarzenegger movies where the >hero looks VERY heroic). Trunks hit the ground with his shoulder >avoiding to hurt the boy with the fall. >Ami could have sworn she saw him fly for a moment, and at that same >time Rei had that strange feeling again, as if some sort of energy was >used for a short period of time. Ranma: I wonder how long Trunks can pretend to be normal? Goku: We'll have to see. > >"Ami! Get your feet back on the ground! We have to transform while he's >not looking!" Usagi told her. Ranma: I think Usagi'd be the one gaping, not reminding. Usagi: HEY! > >"Uh right!" she said. > >Trunks looked at the boy he saved, he was okay. When he got up, he Cloud: ";" instead of ",". >noticed that three other girls, wearing the same sailor costume the >first two did, joined the battle against the monster. The girls were >attacking with lightning, fire and other particular powers. Although >they managed to wound the creature, it was still fighting. Two cats >(one was white, the other black) were standing near the fight but >Trunks didn't thought that mattered. Cloud: Double past tense. Ranma: AAARRRGGHH!!! CATCATCAT!!! (Usagi manages to cover his eyes, mostly because Hikaru was ignoring Ranma. Ranma calms down.) Usagi: Luna and Artemis are gone now, okay? Ranma: Uh, yeah. Thanks. > >[I don't know if those girls can keep this up!] He thought [I have to Cloud: ............ >do something, but I'll probably have to get serious with that monster, >everyone will grow suspicious on me if I ki-blast that thing away. I >can't blow out my cover, but I can't let them get killed either!] > >While Trunks was in the middle of a dilemma, the werewolf glared at >Sailor Moon. > >"Uh oh... I don't like this." the senshi leader spoke. > >The creature flew against her delivering several blows which she hardly >dodge while screaming "Wow! Hey hold it! Somebody help me! >BWWAAAAAA!!!!". Goku: It's a good thing that her clumsy movements are making her unpredictable. If she actually tried to dodge with skill, she is more likely to get hit. Usagi: Hey! So I don't have proper training like you all do. I was just an ordinary schoolgirl before becoming Sailor Moon, you know! Ranma: (raises an eyebrow) "Ordinary"? Usagi: (dangerously) What was that, Ranma? Ranma: (sweatdrops) Uh... Nothing. >Unfortunately, by doing so, Sailor Moon put herself on a corner where >she couldn't escape. > >Trunks was about to pull out the capsule where he kept his sword when >suddenly a rose flew by wounding the werewolf's eye. The creature Cloud: Comma needed after "by". >grabbed his face in pain which gave the opportunity to Sailor Moon to >flee. Goku: Is Tuxedo Kamen weaker than Sailor Moon? I mean, he rarely fights at the front line, and almost never finishes off a monster. Ranma: Hmm... Interesting thought. He certainly isn't a martial artist, that I can say. >Trunks turned his eyes to were the rose came from, he saw a man dressed Cloud: ";" instead of "," >in a black tuxedo wearing a top hat, a cape and a mask (Insert Tuxedo >Kamen music >here<). Cloud: No way, his theme music stinks! Usagi: HEY! So do yours! Cloud: I DON'T have a theme music. (Usagi sweatsdrops.) > >"I don't know who you are or where you come from..." the man said "But >I'm certainly not going to let you hurt my lovely Sailor Moon!!" Cloud: Punctuation needed again, and "come" needs to be in past tense. > >"Tuxedo Kamen!" Sailor Moon said while making big eyes and blushing. Usagi: Ranma, what do you have against tuxedo? I really wish you'd do what Mamochan does for me. Ranma: I don't want to be a superhero, okay? > >"Don't waste any time." Tuxedo Kamen told her "Do it now!" Cloud: ........... > >"Right!" she said as she pulled out of nowhere a huge sceptre with a Cloud: "Scepter" misspelled. >big heart on top. After waving it a couple of thousand times she Usagi: Thousand times?! Goku: I know her movements are absurd, but that's too much of an exaggeration. >shouted "MOON PRINCESS HALATION" and a big blast struck the beast >turning it into dust. Cloud: Shouldn't there be an exclamation mark after "halation"? Goku: Boy, the special techniques in Sailor Moon are named so ridiculously. Usagi: So are the ones in Dragon Ball! > >"Well done, Sailor Moon." Tuxedo Kamen said "Take care." then he left. Cloud: ............ Usagi: That "then he left" line should have been omitted. > >Trunks was still looking at the scene that just occurred, still not >sure of what just happened. > >[Girls fighting in mini-skirts making silly poses????........A guy >using flowers as weapons????.......What is this place????] he asked >himself [What kind of freak show is this?????..........WHERE IN HELL AM >I?????????] Cloud: ........... Ranma: Poor Trunks. > > > >End of chapter 2. >----------------------------------------------------------------------- > Goku: Okay, Usagi, do the summary. Usagi: Right. Well, the grammar still needs some work, particularly around the dialogue. I guess characterization is okay, though there are one or two odd instances. The way characters met is kind of cliched, but then it's necesseary for future chapters. It will be interesting to see Trunks developing a relationship with Sailor Senshi. > >Author's notes: > >I forgot to specify when this story takes place in the Sailor Moon >series. This fanfic takes place during Sailor Moon R right after Mamoru >regained his memory but before Chibi-Usa made her appearance. That >means that Usagi and Mamoru are still going steady and some of the >Senshi's special attacks like VENUS LOVE ME CHAIN haven't appeared yet. Usagi: So I was right! >I'll probably keep making notes at the end of the next chapters if I >think I have to specify some other stuff about Dragon Ball Z, Sailor >Moon or the fanfic. Until then.... > >See you in chapter 3... > Following the last sentence of the fanfic, the message "10 minutes break" showed up on the screen. None of the reviewers looked particularly grateful. Usagi stood up and stretched. "Well, I'm out of snacks. Do you want anything, Ranma?" "Nah, I have eaten enough junk food already." Usagi shrugged and stepped out of the theater. Ranma breathed a sigh of relief, and turned his attention to the Magic Knight. Dense as he may be, he knew with painful clarity that he'd somehow managed to offend her. She had not uttered a word since he had accidentally complimented Usagi. Goku nudged the second oldest person in presence. "C'mon, Cloud, let's go get some more food." "Wha...? Hey!" The ex-SOLDIER exclaimed as Goku started dragging him from collar. Ignoring Cloud's protests, Goku shot a "Don't mess it up." glance to Ranma. The martial artist returned a look that was partly grateful and partly apprehensive. As two adults exited the theater, Ranma braced himself for an arduous task set before him. "Um, Hikaru..." Continued in part 3 of 8 Tell me what you think: VGAP homepage URL: http://www.fortunecity.com/marina/thunder/181/index.html