This page is dedicated to all the things Ranma ½ characters would never say. If you have any phrase you'd like to add, just let me know at...
Just try not to make it sound too repetitive with what's listed here already. Making it sound funny would help too. And remember, this list is intended to be a joke. So, if you worship one of the following characters beyond all things, try not to feel offended from what they say. Now, enjoy the reading.
Ranma: (to Akane) I love you!!
Ryouga: Well, if you want to go to the Tendou Dojo, first you have to take a left turn. After that, you'll have to pass two traffic lights and then turn right. You'll see a park then after. Next to the park there's a "Seven eleven". At this point you should turn right, two blocks later you'll have to take a left... You might get lost. Here, let me draw you a map.
Kuno: Dude, that Shakespeare film was, like, totally bogus. I couldn't understand what that Romeo dude was telling that Juliet chick during the whole movie... bumer...
Genma: (to Ranma) Here son, have some of my rice. You're a growing boy after all, and as your father, it's my responsibility that you eat properly.
Shampoo: I'm considering to quit on Ranma. Maybe I should look for someone more into my intellectual level.
Akane: Ranma, if you don't tear my clothes off right this minute and take me, I swear I'm going to scream.
Ranma: Okay, so I lost... big deal. It's not as if it's the end of the world.
Kasumi: (to Soun) Look!! I had just about enough from your whining! So why don't you start acting your age and SHUT THE F*** UP!!!!
Tsubasa: (singing) Macho Macho Maaaaan. I wanna be a Macho Man.
Azusa: Ewww... that pig with the bandanna is so disgusting.
Tofu: (to Kasumi) Hey babe, wanna have some fun?
Akane: Ryouga, if you don't tear my clothes off right this minute and take me, I swear I'm going to scream.
Soun: (to Genma and Ranma) Okay, I had it with you two!! Either you start paying your stay here, or you can hit the road!!
Ryouga: (giving Ranma some cookies) Here Ranma, this is for you. I baked them last night and wanted to give them to you as a token of my friendship.
Ukyou: (to Ranma) To tell you the truth. All this time I've been pretending to fall for you only to get close to Akane and see if I had a chance with her.
Shampoo: (to Ranma) Get your hands off Shampoo, you pervert!!!
Ukyou: (to Ranma) Get your hands off me, you pervert!!!
Kodachi: (to Ranma) Get your hands off me, you pervert!!!
Akane: (to Ranma) Don't you dare taking your hands off me, you idiot!!!
Ranma: Kasumi, have you seen my Sailor Moon mangas? I can't find them.
Akane: You can't fool me!! That pig with the yellow and black bandanna HAS to be Ryouga!
Nabiki: (in a bar) Okay everyone!! Drinks are on me!!
Ranma: Why thank you Akane, I'd be delighted to taste your stew.
Kasumi: If you're hungry, grab the phone and call Domino's. Can't you see I'm watching my favorite soap opera??
Kuno: (to Ranma) Of course I know that you and the pigtailed girl are the same person. But I never said anything about that bothering me.
Mousse: I had it with Shampoo! I'm getting nowhere with that bimbo!
Ranma: I've been giving it some thought, and I've decided to quit martial arts and start studying World Marketing. That's where the big bucks are now.
Genma: What?? Sell my only son for food?? Never!!! Not even if I'm starving to death!!
Ranma: (to Akane, Shampoo, Ukyou and Kodachi) I won't marry any of you. I've discovered that I'm a better woman for myself than you'll ever be.
Ryouga: (to Akane) To tell you the truth. I have a curse that turns me into a little black pig. All this time I've been pretending to be your pet P-chan. I would've told you sooner, but why should I give up on a free strip show each time I saw you change clothes?
Soun: (to Genma) Enough with this Shogi board. Let's talk about politics instead?
Ranma: Why should I want a cure for my curse? Being a girl has its advantages. And besides, I feel I'm getting in touch with my female side a lot better than before.
Kuno: The life of the Samurai has no place for love. Akane and the pigtailed girl have no business with me what so ever.
Happosai: (to Ranma-chan) God Damn it!!! Put some clothes on!! What do you want to do, gimme a heart attack???
Nabiki: (to Kuno) Forget it!! I'm not taking pictures of either Akane or the pigtailed girl. I have my principles.
Ranma: Hey, Ryouga. Look what I got (showing a bottle of sake). Let's go find Kuno and get ourselves wasted.
Soun: (to Kasumi) <blerk!> This rice tastes like s***!! What the did you put in it, a dead cat??
Akane: (frustrated) That's it! I just can't make a decent meal. Let's
settle down for takeout instead.
Ten Lines You'll Never Hear in Ranma 1/2.(from Lunatic Fringle)
10. Ranma-chan to Genma: "Dad, do you ever feel... you know... not so fresh?"
9. Akane: "I love you, Ranma!" Ranma: "You're not getting my Bud Light."
8. Kasumi: "Get the soy sauce! It's fried panda tonight!"
7. Ranma: "Cologne, I was wondering if you could... how to phrase this... 'make me a man'?"
6. Genma, to Ranma after training: "You're getting sloppy, boy!! I think somebody needs a time out."
5. Shampoo: "Greetings, Ranma. May I formally request your presence on a date?"
4. Happosai: "Boxers! Briefs! SWEETO!!"
3. Ranma: "Ryoga, I was wondering if you could... how to phrase this... 'make me a man'?"
2. Soun, at the begginning of the series: "Soon, very soon, Ranma will be here... and me without a thing to wear!"
And the Number One Line You'll Never Hear in Ranma 1/2:
1. Anyone: "Can't we all just get along?"